WRUP: Stat blocks for the weird dudes at your local McDonald’s edition

Scrungly Pablo
Stats: Strength 9 Speed 7 Odor 16 Hair 8 Speech 4 Calm 4
Skills: Mumble 15, Yell 6, Ritually Prepare Meal 4, Block Traffic 23, Befoul Restroom 9
Jobs: Janitor 4/Weed Dealer 3/Pickpocket 7
Notes:Wherever you go, there’s Scrungly Pablo.

Kibble Pete
Stats: Strength 20 Speed 13 Odor 4 Hair 15 Speech 1 Calm 1
Skills: Punch Inanimate Object 10, Yell 6, Dart Around 15, Loom 8, Throw Trash 19
Jobs: Warehouse Scab 8/Car Assaulter 4
Notes: Kibble Pete has the cops called on him a lot and will try to punch a cop.

“Wiggus”
Stats: Strength 4 Speed 15 Odor 17 Hair 18 Speech 11 Calm 14
Skills: Mumble 3, Insult 4, Blatant Theft 14, Twitch 19, Berate 7, Abscond 6
Jobs: Can Thief 3/Petty Thief 3/Car Radio Thief 3/Conspiracy Theorist 6
Notes: You can actually smell that he uses shampoo, which is somehow worse in context.

“Barnyard”
Stats: Strength 3 Speed 5 Odor 8 Hair 3 Speech 17 Calm 1
Skills: Ramble 16, Corner 13, Carry 14, Awkward Touching 4, Hacking Laugh 19
Jobs: Farmer 7/Weed Dealer 4/Sir Alfred 1
Notes: Do not ask him for a story, or you will get one.

Senator Kelly
Stats: Strength 14 Speed 5 Odor 1 Hair 13 Speech 17 Calm 14
Skills: Discuss 7, Persuade 14, Befoul Restroom 25
Jobs: State Senator 13/Lawyer 2/Pickpocket 1
Notes: He has served six terms.

Norble
Stats: Norble 7 Norble 7 Norble 7 Norble 7 Norble 7 Norble 7
Skills: Norble 436
Jobs: Norble 4/Norble 18/Norble 2
Notes: Norble.

Before you put these NPCs in your next tabletop session, why not tell us What Are You Playing this weekend? Bonus question: What single video game do you think had the biggest impact on your video game preferences and desires up to today?

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna.bsky.social, blog): I’ve been playing City of Heroes again and really liking it. I even got it running on my Steam deck, which is hilarious. I mean, I still need a mouse and keyboard with it, but City of Heroes on my TV is so fun.

It’s not my all-time favorite, but the most impactful game on me personally was Ultima Online. It was my first MMORPG, and it set the stage for what I expect from gaming (everything), which is probably why so many MMOs just do not measure up. Yes, it looks like an MMO from the last millennium, but y’all, whenever I was like, “Can I do…” the game’s answer was, “You sure can.” And not very many MMORPGs have hit that high bar since.

Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes.bsky.social, blog): I’m probably going to dink around with the Beastmaster in Final Fantasy XIV some more, but I also want to check out more of the new season in Skate and continue to play catch-up in Palia as well. I expect that’s probably going to be my plan over the next few weekends, now that I think about it!

Bonus: I guess in terms of longest-lasting impact, it really does have to go to City of Heroes. While I cut my teeth on the MMORPG genre with Final Fantasy XI, CoH still remains the point when I really, truly felt like I “got” what these games can be to the point that the latter fell away to the former almost immediately.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Aside from hopefully knocking out the fourth (and maybe fifth?) FFXIV Beastmastery boards, I’ve got some prep work to keep doing in Warframe as I chip away at that.

Honestly, the most impactful game on me? Dragon Quest. Yes, on the NES. Without that game, I don’t start having a lifelong interest in RPGs. Without that interest in RPGs, I don’t get into the Final Fantasy series or focus on following new consoles. Without that, I never consider getting FFXI, something I had decided against until my girlfriend at the time convinced me to get it. Without that, a lot of things never happen. It all started with that first game. And I don’t even really like it that much now!

Sam Kash (@[email protected]): Well this is only the second weekend of college football but I’m going to be all heads and toes dunked in football. So there’ll be very little gaming time. I’m thinking of some board games on Friday and perhaps single player Sunday morning. But we’ll see how it all falls.

Bonus: what a tough question! I’m waffling between Zelda 2 and the original Final Fantasy. I will have to land on Zelda 2 though. Side scrolling Link was my jam!

Tyler Edwards (blog): Continuing the delve grind in World of Warcraft. Starting to farm T11s with relative ease.

Bonus: Probably Warcraft III. WoW is what got me into MMOs, and I only play WoW because of my affection for WC3.

Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!